THIS Is Your Awakening last chapter WMU

THIS CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER

You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance…

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process; a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval…

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance…

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness…

You realise that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin re-assessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for…

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts…

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix…

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bye gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life…

You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt, responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake…

Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name…

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes…

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy…

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up…”

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands…

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, respect, and you won’t settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process; you internalize the meaning of self-respect…

….

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play…

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen…

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help…

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms…

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it’s just life happening…

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls…

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility…

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can…

….

Author unknown ….

That wonderful, amazing day I will always cherish when I finished reading “The Secret” and stepped outside in uttermost gratitude.

The morning that I stepped outside onto the grass with bare feet and knew beyond a shadow of doubt that if everyone understood this we would all live in a peaceful world.

No wars, no child abuse, wife or husband battering, no children picking on peers. Peace and Love would be all we know and Mother earth would be happy and healthy. Yes she is alive.

The wonderful work I had done learning everything I could about life and how to be and stay happy and feel inner peace has paid off.

It took a lot of time and practice, but like going to the gym, if you keep it up slowly you will see results. That is a promise and I have proof.

I woke up every morning and made a point to feel gratitude for anything I could think of. My pillow was one of my things to be grateful for very often. With life as it could be sometimes my pillow was the only thing I could think of to be grateful for. That time in my life it hard for me because I did not see life itself as something to be grateful for.

I could write an entire other book on this subject and most likely will do just that at some point in the future. As I have already stated, it is my passion to share with the world what I have learned because I know it IS possible to live free from pain and suffering.

I did and did not even realize that I was responsible for my own happiness. I had to take responsibility for my actions and reactions in order to heal and realize that I was my own creator of my life.

Our thoughts are very powerful. Let me repeat that… OUR THOUGHTS ARE VERY POWERFUL! You know that saying, “You are what you think.” Well, it is so true.

Let me ask you something. Do you love yourself? I mean can you look into your pupils in front of a mirror and say “I Love you! ” and mean it with your heart full of love and not look away?

It took me soooooo long to be able to do this, and I am happy to announce that I can. I also like to give myself hugs while doing this exercise and other times as well. In fact I now give myself a hug whenever I need it and always in the mornings to start my day right.

There are many things we can do to make our lives better for ourselves with just our thoughts, feelings, and powerful words.

Have you ever thought about the statement “I AM”? Well I have learned that when you put “I AM” before your words you are attracting to yourself what follows “I AM”.

So when you say “I AM abused,” or “I AM an abuser,” or “I AM an alcoholic,” or whatever, then you are affirming that for yourself and even making it more powerful.

Even “I DON’T WANT.” This too is powerful because the universe does not understand “I DON’T.” It mainly understands the feeling behind the statement.

I think a good field for me to get into would be “speech repair.” I always notice how people talk and I cringe when I hear them forcefully attracting what they do not want!

The best impact I have made in my life was made by changing my thoughts and words.

I strongly recommend watching this movie if you haven’t…. I first watched this movie over five years ago and cannot tell you how many times I have seen it! But, I can tell you that every single time I watch it I get something new from it.

SPANISH

ENGLISH

EVERYTHING WILL BE OK NO MATTER WHAT….. Chapter One WMU

 http://youtu.be/IdEQ2dSu-e0

It was a crisp cold winters night in Montana on March, Friday the 13^th as I sat in the back of the police car going over the tragic events of earlier that evening, feeling myself slipping, slipping, slipping into insanity as I watched several EMT´s bring three gurneys one immediately following after the other into our beautiful home that my abusive husband, Kenny and I had built. Again my Spirit guides whispered in my ear to comfort me. ¨Eveything will be ok no matter what, remember what you have learned.¨

A home that had many memories both good and bad.  Why they brought in three gurneys I will never know but I have my suspicions. My two sons were in the home that night.

It was previously known to the police that he had gone back to our home after trying to kill us both by driving off a cliff into the frozen Swan Lake in Montana. I had for the first time FIRMLY told him I  wanted a divorce and that he could have everything. Dispatch of the Lake County Sherriff´s department had called and confirmed that he had gone back to our home after I jumped from the speeding car to save my life. My Spirit guides had made it clear to me that I would surely die if I did not.

Ok now that I have your attention I will tell the story. What happened that night is what motivated me to write this book.

Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status or age. Anyone can be a victim or perpetrators of domestic violence. This I know as fact because I have walked many lives and talked to many people. I have heard many dreadful stories. Some stories are  even more disturbing than what happened in my lifetime.

This is the power and control wheel. Seeing this in a time when I needed it the most I was sitting in a bathroom in a bar. I was horrified as I realized that I had experienced ALL of this type of abuse to an extreme with Ken as well as many others. But with Ken, he had every single trait! He was a VERY dangerous abuser. Not to mention that even ONE of the traits is dangerous for your soul and wellbeing. The first thing that really hit me was that I needed to get away from him as soon as possible.

Those who wish to sing always finds a song

I found a song. Her name is JOY. You too can EXPERENCE JOY Here……

• http://www.ExperienceJoy.com

As A small child and throught most of my life I had held on to many horrific memories that had always haunted me. That abusive life started with my father. He was mostly sexually and mentally abusive but also left me with many welts due to that mean leather belt of his.

There were times where my father and mother would be fighting and he would drag my mother by the hair into the room where us kids were and make us look at her while saying, “Look at your mother and look how pathetic she is.” On and on he would go as she lay on the floor weeping. I always hated him for that that is until I learned how to forgive him.

I was a wonderer and always a pretty quiet child.  I was very insecure as my father had a way of always cutting down myself and others.

I was a small child probablly about five or six I wandered one day into the woods only to find a beautiful spot where the moss covered the ground, a little stream trickled by, the cedar trees were hovering perfectly over this magical place to make a perfect fort to hide in. It was a spot like I had never seen before, so  peaceful. Even though I went back several times to find that peaceful comforting spot  I had no success! It was like it never existed!

I would not see again for many years until I was an adult living in Cabuya, Costa Rica where I had opened a cute little Bed & Breakfast on the Pacific Ocean.

One day a Shaman came bouncing into my life filling it with JOY and understanding.

I got a Facebook message from Sierra Goodman… An incredible lady who is fun to follow as she is always swimming about with Dolphins in Costa Rica! In fact she played a HUGE part in inspiring me to start traveling!

She sent me a friend request for Joy Phoenix, saying she was a healer visiting Costa Rica on her way to a festival, looking for a place to stay, and suggesting I contact her.

I thank Sierra every day for sending JOY to me!!!!

Hola!

Hey Michelle,

I sent you a friend request for a woman named Joy Phoenix… she is a healer and lives here in Costa Rica. I don’t know her, just through FB, but she is on her way to Tambor and Montezuma for the Celebration. She is looking for a place to stay and I told her to contact you, but I don’t have your phone number. Hers is xx xx xxxx. Can you give her a call and see if maybe you can hook up with her? Like I said, I don’t know her personally yet, but seems like a very nice lady.

Love you!

Sierra

Joy is a Shaman who came into my life and stirred it up a bit! It seems that every time I think the work on myself is done I get bumped up a bit…. Like writing this book for example!

Joy really made my head spin! She taught me many wonderful things about myself and some not so pleasant things!

The first night of her arrival she really took me by surprise when as we sat across from one another typing away on our laptops, My friend Brian was there as well. He was a Beautiful Tico. Tico is what Costa Rican men are called. His long shining thick black hair went to just above his butt, he had full lips soft tan skin. Brian had left after bringing us some chocolate for us girls to indulge delightfully. He came to my house often and always with gifts in hand.

Suddenly, she said to me with her a serious face and cute Kiwi accent, “What’s going on with you Michelle?”

I was shocked because I had just met her and this was serious! I nervausly laughed and responded, “Well there are many things.”

Still laughing nervously now,¨ What are you talking about?”

“That boy is totally in love with you! And you obviously fancy him” She said.

“BINGO” I replied. “Boy, he is a boy. Besides we cannot even communicate because I do not speak Spanish.” I said. “Sometimes it’s better to let your heart speak” she grinned

“How old is he?” “I don’t know, I think twenty -five?”

“Michelle, what has happened to you that you would deprive yourself of love?”

“Joy, I have goals and do not need distractions right now” I said. My heart sunk as I so dreaded this question as by this time I had thought I had let my past be just that. THE PAST!

We spent hours talking about the events that led to selling and giving away all of my belongings and moving to a foreign country that I knew nothing about!

It had always been a dream of mine to live in the tropics and I had finally gotten brave enough to let all my possessions´ THINGS that were holding me back, that I had worked and fought so hard all of my life to acquire. I let it all go!!!

I am so grateful that I did. Life in the tropics is everything I had ever dreamt and more! In order to get here I had to find peace in the place where I was. I found peace in my heart for myself and others. YES! I made peace with those who had hurt me in the past.

Here is a little something I would like to share with you. For those of you who cannot understand how I could ever forgive those who had wronged me; those whom I had invited into my life unknowingly to show me lessons that would make me long to be awakened and find peace within.

Before I came here to earth, I stood before our creator as creator asked me “Michelle, what is it that you want to learn at the school of life?”

Jumping up and down feeling pure bliss that I was able to choose my classes on earth I responded. “Oh oh oh I know I know, I want to learn and experience pure Love and compassion. I want to learn it, live it, and teach it to others.”

“Whoa!¨ Creator expressed. ¨Are you sure Michelle? Do you understand what that entails?”

 “Oh Yes, yes, yes, I do, I do and I am willing to sacrifice an easy life with no drama and wait for it to come later when it is time.” I responded excitedly.

“Well Then,” God replied let’s see if anyone here is willing to do that for you my dear.” Suddenly there were hundreds of souls that had gathered around me who were more than happy to help fill my request. Some would come early in childhood and others would come later until I was ready for my awakening. Until I had been so distressed that I would break down the ego I had built and long, want and ask for Pure Love, peace and compassion. As I felt Love and gratitude for each and every one of these beautiful souls that had agreed to play their part in my movie of life, I expressed gratitude to them all. They were happy to be able to fill my request. Then suddenly all at once they all responded “Michelle, we are more than happy to fill your request but only if you promise us one thing. Promise that you will remember this when we are gone.” ~Inspired by Wayne Dyer

I always get a tear in my eyes when i share this saying with friends. My beautiful friends Cindy and Cristina shared this with me one day while having lunch in Kalispell, Montana.

I promised this and was sent to be born into a lifetime of abuse from my parents, teachers, classmates, siblings, bosses, friends, boyfriends and husbands.

I can honestly say that YES I do remember you all and I Love and forgive you all as well as forgiving myself.

JOY my sweet sweet friend has insisted we do some “Release” work and while we were in a session she took me back to that place when I was a little girl in my peaceful fort in the woods years ago.…..

As I laid there on the bed at the beautiful beach house in Cabuya, Costa Rica with my eyes closed, with Joy´s help, my mind went to that space that I had found peace at as a confused little girl, that place that I went to find but could not so many times.

The place where I was comforted by what I thought all of my life was an Angel. Only to discover that it was the adult ME who was there. As really there is no such thing as space and time. I will explain more about this later.

With my new understanding of how this wacky life rolls this was easy to understand what was happening! It was my laying on the bed in Costa Rica comforting that little girl that was me! It was clear to me at that moment of comfort that I was the one who helped me that day as a young broken child. That it was I who was the one who would ultimately comfort me as a child and as the adult! I was blown away!! To be continued……….

One More Introduction For You to Get Ready For a Heart Pounding Journey. 2

Wake Me Up

By: Michelle A. Milne-Jones

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him” – Buddha

Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, age, and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic violence

Abuse is an all too common story. Some people survive and succeed in life. Some survive physically but the mental trauma is fat too damaging. If the right people an be there in some way or another to help there would be more successful survivors.

After being raped, and abused physically as well as mentally, my life became a roller coaster of ups and down. I had little to no self esteem. I put myself into the position of continuing my abuse I’m virtually all my relationships. Happiness was not a word in my vocabulary.

Finally I started to see the light. I am starting to use my lessons to build a new life. A life of triumph for myself and a life I want to use to help others.

This is a true story of a woman who has triumphed over a less desirable life of obstacles of abuse starting from childhood with her father physical, mental and sexual abuse.

How I found hope when there was none in sight.

I share a journey of tragedy and my awakening that leads me to live a life that many only dream about.

“It is my passion to share that anyone can triumph over any obstacle no matter how bad the situation, I did it just by changing the way I thought, spoke, and what my focus is. There is more to it than that and I will share it with you.

On May 15th, 2009 I wrote a post on myspace out of desperation!!! My abusive husband had recently attempted murder/suicide by driving our car over a cliff after telling him that I wanted a divorce.

It has been almost five years since then and a lot has happened. My life is better now than I could have ever imagined!! I AM living my dreams!! I have been traveling for the past two years and am now living in Bocas Del Toro, Panama as I asked my spirit guides to show me where I was suppose to be to finish this book. I Absolutely LOVE it here!!!

After letting go of the pain and self pitty I was freed from my own thoughts as well as those who were wanting to hurt me.

I also learned that it was “Things” that were holding me back from my dreams and passions!

I freed myself from the slavery that I was in and since then I have created an awesome reality show designed to help women who attract abusers and am now writing a book of my life and what I learned that has awakened me even more. So the book is a bit dramatic. (I put the drama in for two reasons… 1. Those who are attracting drama will be attracted to this book. 2. so people can see that no matter how bad life is, it is possible to change it by changing our thoughts and what we focus on, also by finding forgiveness for ourselves and others.

I give thanks every day all day long that I have awakened and am free to choose the life that i want to live!

My passion is to reach out to every single person who is still stuck in negative reality and show them that it is possible live a life of bliss and freedom!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL and i am here for you always.

How can you see into my eyes

Like open doors?

Lading you down into my core,

Where I’ve become so numb.

Without a soul,

My spirit sleeping somewhere cold,

Until you find it there and lead it back

Home.

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside.

(I can’t wake up)

Wake me up inside.

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark.

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run.

(I can’t wake up)

Before I come undone.

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I’ve become.

Now that I know what I’m without,

You can’t just leave me.

Breathe into me and make me real.

Bring me to life.

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside.

(I can’t wake up)

Wake me up inside.

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run. (I can’t wake up)

Before I come undone. (Save me)

Save me from the nothing I’ve become.

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/e/evanescence/wake_me_up_inside.html ]

Bring me to life. (I’ve been living a lie.

There’s nothing inside)

Bring me to life.

Frozen inside without your touch,

Without your love, darling.

Only you are the life among the dead.

(All this time)

I can’t believe I couldn’t see

Kept in the dark

but you were there in front of me)

I’ve been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.

I’ve got to open my eyes to everything.

(Without a thought

Without a voice

Without a soul

Don’t let me die here.

There must be something more).

Bring me to life. (Wake me up)

Wake me up inside.

(I can’t wake up)

Wake me up inside.

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark.

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run.

(I can’t wake up)

Before I come undone.

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I’ve become.

Bring me to life.

(I’ve been living a lie. There’s nothing inside)

Bring me to life

Through my experiences and research I have come to some common truths for what I feel is not just for my life but for all of us.
We are more than just humans. We are mind, spirit and soul in a temporary vessel we call a body. By our very existence we are a light unto the world.
Everything that insists is part of what I like to call the Force. Some call it God. There are many other names for it. This Force is e source of everything. In this realm nothing is separate. We are all connected. The Beatles have a song where the lyrics go someone like this: ” I am am you and you are me and we are all together”. That is one of the truths of life.
Life itself is strong and enduring yet fragile, simple yet complex. Everything in life is for a purpose.
We just as life itself are simple yet complex, strong and enduring yet fragile. Our life, just as life itself has a purpose. We all have our own abilities and genius. We just need to seek them out and use them for our own benefit as well as to share with others.
Existence itself as well as our own existence has come into being for a reason. Nothing is random. Things that appear to be mistakes have a purpose too. Life itself and our lives are perfection. Christian Scientists teach their children. “I am God’s perfect child”
The universal laws of our lives are the same for all not just some. We create and co-create our own lives.
The most important truth in our lives is Unconditional Love. Everything else is secondary.
Fear is something that we need to erase from our lives. Why? Because we are eternal, we are perfection itself and we have a purpose.

As I sit here on a remote island on the Caribbean in Bocas del Toro, Panama I reflect over this past weekend as two dolphins play happily right in front of the property. They seemed to be celebrating with me that it was indeed time to get this book written after a century of procrastinating.

I have been volunteering at a wonderful organic self sustainable resort where there is a wonderful local organization called “The Boat Doctors” who stay mainly in a marina near the town of Bocas. They had been here to the island of Loma Partida at a resort for the weekend as they had came to set up a clinic for the Indians and foreigners of the nearby islands.

The work was done; the patients had all left in their cayukas heading towards their homes on the surrounding islands. The doctors were enjoying dinner and visited as they wound down from a busy day.

I was inspired again by a conversation with one of the doctors.

Derrik was a handsome doctor. He was in great physical shape and had beautiful green eyes with a bald head. He had struck up a conversation with me while we sat in the restaurant.

He had been telling me some of his concerns of life and sharing challenging life experiances with me and I was more than happy to share what I had learned from my life challenges as to how to handle what his issues were.

He suddenly stops and says “Wow! This is weird! This is the first time that I have had the table turned.” Do you know what I studied?”

“No, ummmm heart surgeon?” I said with a smile as I winked.

“No I am a psychiatrist.” And you have some very good information that could help a lot of people. What is your education background Michelle?”

This was music to my ears!

“The School of life and hard knocks.” I replied happily. Then went on.

I had gone to college but, ended up leaving without a degree after tragicly losing my husband in an auto accident. I self educated myself by reading many books and through the internet. Nowadays if you want any information all you have to do is google it. The internet basically saved my life along with the wonderful books that came to me because I wanted God to wake me up.”

We talked for hours about what things we have learned about life and how we love to help others.

It really made me feel good as I had realized at that moment just how much I had grown and that I AM capable of helping others.

I dedicate this book to all of you who are reading this and hope there is something in its pages that helps you find love and peace within. I pray that those of you who are still attracting abuse to realize how destructive it is not only to you but everyone around you.

I sit and close my eyes and see millions of you reading this book and lives changing because you have all discovered your true self and how important it is to embrace life and yourselves. I Love each and every one of you as I recognize that we are all one and it is my gift that I share with you, yours.

Tomottow i will post the first part of the first chapter. Have a wonderful day everyone!!!